Had I not seen a Facebook post by one of my Cuban friends, I would have assumed that cocotazo was just some sort of a coconut dessert.
Instead, I was suddenly and shockingly educated that it is apparently one of the three great punishments that befell Cuban kids growing up in the US. The other two being the chancleta, of which I think is amazing, and a veiled threat in Spanish which roughly translates to ‘Wait until your father gets home.’
The middle punishment is the cocotazo, otherwise known as getting knocked upside the head with your mom or Grandma’s knuckles.
I’m not sure if it’s directly related to the noogie or Indian burn, but it still doesn’t seem like it’s something I want to be a part of. Funny enough, Beat Culture Brewery in Miami has beers based on two of these three, the first being a Fuacata, which is the sound said chancleta makes when it makes contact with your body.
The next, and slightly more recent, is their Cocotazo (Tart ale, 5% ABV).
Instead of getting physically punished for whatever it is you did wrong now, this cocotazo is a pina colada tart ale and, as such, is infinitely more enjoyable. It pours crystal clear and beautifully orange, with succinct notes of pineapple and coconut in the aroma.
The flavor is absolutely wonderful and almost stereotypically Floribbean. On a light malt bill that has pips of two-row and maybe a touch of biscuit, you at once get a tartness not unlike fresh pineapple, but not as much of the sweetness of the pineapple.
The coconut is what comes first, then that subsides as the sweetness from the pineapple comes in. The tartness tends to stay with the coconut, so you get that little bit of the the tartness at the beginning, which fades to allow the sweeter notes to come through.
Somewhere, someone is going to put a rum floater in this, but it’s not necessary. It’s quite enjoyable on its own and a good deal more delightful than getting punished.
Now, will the Beat Culture team make a beer based on the existential dread of waiting till your father gets home? Remains to be seen.
Drink Florida Craft,
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